Adventures in Fat Girl Fitness

Working my Way to a Healthier Me One Burpee at a Time

It’s all in your head — April 20, 2018

It’s all in your head

The mental side of fitness is something I never really thought about or encountered before. Before this journey when a class or exercise would get too hard I’d just quit. It was a simple solution to an unpleasant situation, but it meant that I’ve never had to push past the “oh, fuck, I might die or throw up (or both)” feeling.

Cue tonight. I’ve been battling a cold and it’s been over a week since I’ve been to the box to workout with Mel, my amazing trainer. I’ll be honest, I want really feeling like a workout tonight and thought that maybe I’d half-ass it. Yeah, Mel was having none of that.

So for the first time in almost ever I had to figure out how to push through when every ounce of my being was screaming at me to quit. To give in. To lie down and run out the clock.

I asked Mel if anyone ever quits on her. She thought about it and then answered no and immediately reminded me that I was supposed to be doing some push ups. I can see why no one quits. You simply don’t have the opportunity. The reps come fast, the clock is ticking, and if you stop to think you’d cry. So you don’t stop.

My workout tonight was nothing hard. For a seasoned veteran it would seem like a warm up. But tonight it kicked my ass all over the mat.

But for the first time I didn’t quit. I kept going and dug deep. I listened to Mel telling me that I could do it if I just kept breathing. If I just gave her 30 minutes of my life. If I just got my head to stop pestering my body and let my muscles work.

I almost threw up. I wanted to cry. I did curse. But I beat my brain. I won. And for that I’m proud.

Back at it — April 6, 2018

Back at it

Today was my first day back at crossfit since I ruptured my Achilles on March 1. I’m not gonna lie, I was a little apprehensive about walking back into something that was so new to me when I got injured. But I’m lucky that my trainer has been wonderful throughout this process, keeping in touch with me and helping to keep me motivated.

So tonight I squeezed my way into my compression leggings, laced up my one shoe, and headed into the box to give it my all.

After testing to see what I could do given I’m still in an Aircast we got to work.

The warm-up was mostly on the SkiErg and, as I can’t row for a while yet, the rest of my WOD was also heavy on the SkiErg. I was warned that this would be my new best friend and worst enemy.

Anyway, my WOD was a TC progression and while I know that to veteran crossfitters it won’t seem like much, it definitely challenged me.

But, more importantly I didn’t give up, even when I thought I might might puke and I finished in 26:30, under the 30 min TC. I am proud of myself.

So that’s the first day back. I won’t be able to life my arms tomorrow and I could barely get the strength to push the start button on my car, but I did it. And I’ll be doing it all again. On Monday. Yay!

Why — March 1, 2018

Why

So why did I decide to start on a journey of fitness and health? Here’s a short list for me to remember when the days get hard and the chocolate looks so good.

  1. My daughter: I want my kid to grow up knowing that she can be strong and that her body can move mountains (or at least climb them) if she fuels and feeds it the right way.
  2. Honesty: I want to be truthful in what I say to my child when she points out my tummy or bum. I want to mean it when I say, “yup, mummy is proud of her tummy. It carried you!” rather than feeling a deep shame at how I look.
  3. Mental Health: I struggle with mental health. Depression and anxiety are dear, if caged, friends of mine. One of my biggest current challenges is simply liking who I am. I know part of that will never be fixed until I take some action to make some changes.  The rest of my life and mental health is in a good place now. I’d like my body to follow.
  4. Alignment: I want my outsides to match my insides.  In my head I’m a warrior. I’m strong and capable and can leap tall buildings in a single bound. I want that to be all true in the real sense, not just in my head (although inside is a good first start).
  5. Mountains: I want to climb them. Or at least hike them. I want to bike ride and canoe and hike and camp and run and play and do all the things I’m just too tired to do now. I want to experience all those fun things once more before it truly is too late.

In short, I want to be a better, more capable version of myself. I want to be as strong as I feel. And I want to raise an equally strong and fierce kid who never doubts in her ability to kick ass and take names.

One, Two, Skip a Few, 99, 100 — February 27, 2018

One, Two, Skip a Few, 99, 100

Apparently this isn’t the proper way to count when Crossfit is kicking your ass.  Ethics and all that.

So Sunday was my first day of Crossfit.  I am taking a mechanics course at a local box (as I’ve been told is the approved nomenclature) and I’m pretty sure I did 75 squats of different variations.  Needless to say, I’ve not been able to sit or walk down stairs with any ease since then.

But man, oh man, was that a fun workout.  I’ve never been a big fan of working out (sloth being my favourite of the deadly sins), but something about Crossfit appeals to me.  Maybe it’s the way my coworkers talk about it (it’s damn near cult-like and I’ve always wanted to belong). Maybe it’s the way I admire women who are strong, rather than simply thin (I’ll never be thin, I could be strong). Maybe is’t the variation in the routines (I’m a little exercise ADD). But whatever it is, sore quads notwithstanding, that was the most fun I’ve had at a gym in, well, forever.

I’ve signed up again for Thursday night and, to my surprise as much as yours, can’t wait to get up for my first real 5:15 am Crossfit class. Burpees and all (please god, no burpees. I hate burpees).

The Journey Begins — February 25, 2018