Adventures in Fat Girl Fitness

Working my Way to a Healthier Me One Burpee at a Time

ARGHH — June 25, 2018

ARGHH

frustratedI’m annoyed with my body today. It’s not doing what I want it to do. I eat right, count my macros, hit the gym, and… the scale isn’t moving. It’s been weeks. It’s getting… well… frustrating.

I mean, I know I’m not doing this just for weight loss, but damn it, if my body is going to stay here with or without big piles of pasta, I’ll take the fucking pasta!

It’s frustrating and defeating. Especially since I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it to the gym this week at all (husband is out of town and someone has to be with the kid). So now I’m frustrated and don’t even have an avenue to burn off the frustration. Top that off with solo-parenting a threenager for a week and… *see gif*.

Sorry, this is whiny, but I’m bummed today.

Grrr. Arghh.

It’s all about those macros — June 15, 2018
100 Day Challenge – Update — May 1, 2018
100 Day Challenge — April 27, 2018

100 Day Challenge

I like to break things up into small bite-sized pieces. I’m not great at looking down the road to “forever” and seeing a path of contentment, but break something into small pieces and I can chip away at it.  Hell, even when we got married, Mr. Fat Girl Fitness and I only agreed to 50 years with a negotiation period at the end to reassess whether we wanted to keep going with this marriage thing. Bite-sized pieces.

Unfortunately, bite-sized pieces are also what gets me into trouble. In this sense I mean literal bite-sized pieces. Of the cookie and chocolate and chips and pretzels variety.  You name it, I’ll eat it.

I’ve never had a very healthy relationship to food before. I used it as comfort. As entertainment. As reward. As a consequence, I’ve never had a very healthy relationship with my body before. I’ve always hated who I am and how I look. I ate because it didn’t matter – I was always going to be fat anyway, why not enjoy it. I dieted and restricted. It worked… for a bit. But I’d always bounce back, bigger and unhappier than ever.

As I start a journey to become healthier by getting stronger I’m starting to want to eat better. To fuel my body rather than please it. To fill, but not stuff. To know that I’m doing what I can to change both my body and my mind.

This isn’t about wanting to be skinny. I’ll never be skinny. I’ll likely never be thin. I’ll probably always be chubby. I always have and there’s only so much I can do in the face of genetics. But I can be a healthier chubby. A fitter chubby. A stronger chubby.

I have heard that it’s really 80% food and 20% exercise. That you can’t outrun your fork. So here’s where the next phase of the journey starts. I’ll commit to 100 days. 100 days of eating clean-ish. Of making sure that 80% of what I put in my body is in there for fuel and not pleasure or comfort. That those calories are going into me to help me achieve my goals, not to fill a gap that, frankly, isn’t food’s job to fill. I don’t promise to be perfect, but I promise to try.

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I commit to:

  • Meal planning;
  • Bringing my lunch to work;
  • Not drinking my calories;
  • Eating my fruits and veggies with every meal;
  • Snacking sensibly;
  • Eating until my stomach is happy, not full and distended; and
  • To enjoying the experience of cooking again.

I love to cook and am, if I do say so myself, an excellent cook. For too long I’ve left that to either my husband to manage or Skip the Dishes to cater to. Now it’s time to get back in the kitchen and put what I logically know into real action.

So why only 80%? Because I’m a realist. I know that I’ll slip. I know that I love bacon. I know that there’s nothing better than a huge cup of hot coffee brimming with creamy sweetness. And because I’ve never been perfect and this isn’t the time to start.

Bite-sized pieces.

Just as soon as I finish this slice of meat and cheese pizza for lunch. 😉